Building Intimacy in Marriage: Lesson 3

You may like to read related literature on family management and management of married life on the following URLs:

(Family Management) http://family-harmony.blogspot.com/

(Marriage Counseling) http://marriage-counsel.blogspot.com/

(Mission statement for Families) http://marriage-counsel.blogspot.com/2011/03/mission-statement-for-families.html

(Life Management and Life Skills: Life Time Model) http://family-harmony.blogspot.com/2011/07/life-time-model-and-life-skills-life.html

(Do You Have the Right Kind of Skill Sets and Competencies to Run Your Marriage and Family Effectively?) http://family-harmony.blogspot.com/2011/03/do-you-have-right-kind-of-skill-sets.html

(Refer our High Quality Management Encyclopedia “Management Universe” at: http://management-universe.blogspot.com/)

Need for Tutorials in Building Intimacy in Your Marriage

(All the six lessons of tutorial on "building intimacy in your marriage/relationship are now available in a book form titled "The Romance of Intimacy". The book is already benefitting a good number of married couples and couples in relationships. You can obtain the book as eBook from the Nuubuu link http://nbuu.co/bi and as printed book from Amazon)

The fact of life is that you live with your parents and brothers and sisters for just about 15 to 20 years of your entire life. You live with your own children only for 15 to 20 years of your life. And you live with your spouse for around 60 years of your life if you got married at the age of 30 and you are going to live till your age of 90 years.

So isn’t it very obvious that you should invest more of your time and efforts in building up your married life? Don’t you think you need to do whatever it needs to keep up the relationship with your spouse and spruce it up further to new heights?

Over a period of time many of us get into a rut and forget what it needs to maintain and build up the relationship. So, here are some reminder lessons for you.

Here onwards each post on “Family Management” section of the blog will narrate one important lesson. Implement this lesson and practice it again and again till it becomes your habit and happens to you naturally.

The first tutorial “Give Positive Strokes to Your Spouse” was published at the URL: http://shyam.bhatawdekar.net/index.php/2011/10/06/family-management-building-intimacy-in-marriage-lesson-1/

The second tutorial “Demonstrate Your Love, Affection and Care towards Your Spouse” was published at the URL: http://shyam.bhatawdekar.net/index.php/2011/11/02/life-management-family-management-building-intimacy-in-marriage-lesson-2/

Here is your third tutorial. Do your homework now.

Lesson 3: Demonstrate Your Respect to Each Other

The natural danger in any intimate relationship like between husband and wife is taking each other for granted within a few months or few years of marriage. The reason is the obvious familiarity that arises out of staying together twenty four hours of every day.

Prior to marriage or during dating/courtship or during the initial days of marriage the husband and wife use lots of etiquette and manners. They show their best sides to each other. They address each other with dignity. They behave with great degree of civility and create an impression of respecting each other. They listen each other a lot, nod with mutual agreements on most of the topics, try avoiding conflicts and so on.

Unfortunately after living together as a married couple, they throw their caution to winds. The facades are dropped. They start showing their true colors. They start misbehaving, use bad language, become manner less and mutual civility as desired between two human beings is lost somewhere. The initial friendship turns into an ever increasing familiarity and in turn familiarity breeds contempt. They start falling apart.

They feel highly insulted by the disrespect hurled at each other. The delicate spots of human dignity feels hurt and the relationship starts suffering. It starts depleting in all the departments of intimacy- emotional intimacy, intellectual intimacy and as a resultant, the physical intimacy.

The couple who understands this phenomena does not allow such situation to occur. Such husband and wife team embraces mutual respect not only during the early days but throughout the entire married life. They demonstrate the same civility towards each other as is expected in any civilized society between two persons. The etiquette and manners are kept intact. Disagreement and dissonance are definitely expressed but they are expressed in a manner that does not hurt the partner. They do not shout at each other or blame each other. They do not use derogatory words/language. They do not address each other with contempt.  They use correct tone of voice while expressing their opinion. They do not use a condescending tone. Conflicts due to difference of opinions are far less (may be around 10%)  than due to wrong tone of voice (may be around 90%).

It is necessary to give your spouse the dignity a human being deserves. Stop taking each other for granted. Do not hover on each other all the time. Give each other the space and privacy one should have. Remember that a husband does not possess a wife or a wife does not possess a husband. They are equal partners in marriage. Each one of them is an individual and has his/her own place in married life as well as a loving association with each other.

You can not enjoy the real bliss of the married life involving emotional, intellectual and physical intimacy unless you respect your spouse (lesson 3), demonstrate your love, affection and care to your spouse (lesson 2) and praise/appreciate your spouse. So start doing it, start practicing it (do it again and again till you are perfect in doing it). Knowing does not mean anything unless you implement it. And please remember practice makes a man (and a woman) prefect.

It requires both (husband and wife) to build up strong and intimate relationship in marriage; it cannot be a one sided affair to be done only by wife or only by husband. Therefore, both husband and wife should read this tutorial together and start practicing it simultaneously. Of course, it does not mean that if wife has yet not started husband should wait and not start it too or vice-versa.

For More Guidance, Assistance, Training and Consultation

Contact: prodcons@prodcons.com

Training in all the soft skills and various management functions/techniques is imparted by Prodcons Group’s Mr Shyam Bhatawdekar and/or Dr (Mrs) Kalpana Bhatawdekar, eminent management educationists, management consultants and trainers- par excellence, with distinction of having trained over 150,000 people from around 250 organizations.

Also refer: (Prodcons Group) http://prodcons-group.blogspot.com/, (Training Programs by Prodcons Group) http://training-development-function.blogspot.com/, (Productivity Consultants) http://productivity-consultants.blogspot.com/

Other Topics of Interest: Counseling: General and Psychological

^{(Anger Management) http://controlling-anger.blogspot.com/
(Children’s Behavior Problems) http://child-behavior-problems.blogspot.com/
(Cholesterol Control) http://controlling-cholesterol.blogspot.com/
(Counseling: Psychological) http://counselingfamily.blogspot.com/
(Counseling: Psychological) http://counseling-family.blogspot.com/
(Cross Cultural Etiquette) http://cross-cultural-etiquette.blogspot.com/
(Do This Today) http://do-this-today.blogspot.com/
(Emotions) http://emotion-feeling.blogspot.com/
(Executive Etiquette and Manners)http://executive-manners.blogspot.com/
(Exercises) http://exercises-plan.blogspot.com/
(Family Counseling) http://family-harmony.blogspot.com/
(Health: Homeopathy) http://homeopathy-medicines.blogspot.com/
(Life Management: Competencies) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/competency-matrix/6txz9nck6g3/4#
(Life Management: Effectiveness Management: HSoftware) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/management-in-life-profession-family/6txz9nck6g3/3#
(Life management: I Am Liberated)http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/i-am-liberated/6txz9nck6g3/6#view
(Marriage Counseling) http://marriage-counsel.blogspot.com/
(Ownership on Job) http://job-ownership.blogspot.com/
(Parental Responsibilities) http://parental-responsibilities.blogspot.com/
(Personality) http://human-personality.blogspot.com/
(Qualities of Spouse) http://spouse-qualities.blogspot.com/
(Quit Smoking) http://quit-smoking-plan.blogspot.com/
(Self Development) http://managing-self.blogspot.com/
(Self-confidence) http://self-confidence-improvement.blogspot.com/
(Spiritual Quotient/Intelligence)http://spiritual-quotient.blogspot.com/
(Stress Management) http://managing-stress-strain.blogspot.com/
(Stress Management) http://management-of-stress.blogspot.com/
(Success in Life or Success) http://success-achievement.blogspot.com/
(Success in Life or Success) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/success-in-life/6txz9nck6g3/14#view
(Swine Flu and Its Prevention) http://swine-flu-precaution.blogspot.com/
(Telephone Etiquette) http://telephone-etiquette.blogspot.com/
(Walking) http://walking-plan.blogspot.com/
(Winners and Losers) http://winners-losers.blogspot.com/}